Thursday, March 30

Good people, really bleeding good people

My Mass Communications professor said sometime ago that there are two types of people in this world, those who build others up and those who are toxic and destroy those around them. I would like to add a third group of people to this list, those whom you perceive to be so good that they bring to mind your own deficiencies, causing, in a wonderul two-for-one hate towards them and feelings of depression in yourself, only accentuated by your hate for them. These people are the type who manage to be unimaginably intelligent, friendly, athletic, active, helpful and still volunteer obscene amounts of their time. Include a fair helping of humility on top of all this, and they're the perfect person to hate. In many cases, I can manage to transmute these feelings into an unspoken competition of sorts, an impetus for becoming a better person. Unfortunately, if I cannot see the flaws in these wonderful people, I cannot envision myself matching them. They are simply too far above me. I can reason through all the possible reasons for liking them, they're a decent person, they want to make the world a better place, whatever, and I still can't break free from my untowardly harsh feelings toward them.

What does this mean? What should I do? The eternal questions arise.

What does this mean? It means I'm not content or happy. I know that I can still become better, and these people are what I want to become. I realize how far away I am from becoming what I want to be, and that, my friends, is hideously depressing.

What should I do then? Depression is not a pleasant state to exist in. There are only two options that I can see. Either I can settle, admit that I am a flawed person and wallow in these lowering of my standards or strive to become like them. I think it's clear which I prefer. Now I just need to put that choice into action.

2 comments:

Emmett said...

Aaaagh, but Chris, How are you sure you're not one of those people to someone else?
This is why Buddhists say that, upon reaching nirvana, everyone is One with everyone else. Or like Jesus said to Peter, "If I wish him (the disciple Jesus loved) to live until my return, what is it to you?"
It doesn't matter how good other people are; you can't compare yourself to them. You can't even really compare yourself to your past or future- all you can really do is do what is right right now.

Ann said...

I've found that it's best not to attempt to compete with those types of people. If you attempt, and fail, then you'll only confirm to yourself that they're better than you are. If you do manage to do better than them in some situation, then you'll lose your respect for them because you obviously don't feel that you are the pinnacle of perfection as far as people go.
I have known two people like that in my life, and I find it best to keep those types of people close to you. Befriend them and you will both learn from them and also learn about their faults that may make them more human to you. I would imagine that it's lonely to be that seemingly perfect, so if you do believe what they're doing is worthwhile then one of the best things that you can do is to support them.