Good byes

To say that I hate saying “Good-bye” would be to oversimplify and obfuscate the whole thing. I like my social relationships clear. If we were randomly paired to be partners on some project, I want that to be out in the open. If we are merely co-workers, I hope we both realize it. If we are friends, I need to know, so I have an idea of what is appropriate and what is not. Can I give you a call out of the blue, for no purpose? The nature of our relationship needs to be clear otherwise something as simple as this drives me insane.

In the same way, I want the same clearness to be present in my time with others. I need to know when we are saying “Hey” just in passing and when it is meant to lead to further discussion or whatever (which is where my hatred for the phrase “What’s up?” comes from). The same goes for “Good-bye.” When one says “Good-bye,” they are released from the other person or group. The conversation and time together is over. Most of the time, this really is not a big deal, like when you see the person frequently, but it can get so much more difficult when it is a big deal “Good-bye.” These are not the “I’ll see you soon” “Good –byes,” these are the “I’ll see you in a few months” “Good-byes.” The kind you say before taking off for college or before going on summer break. When you say one of those, you are prepared to not see the person again for a long bleeding time. If I deliver one of those and then see the person again before one of us takes off, it just puts me into a tizzy. What am I supposed to say? Did not we just say everything that needed to be said a little while ago? So, more-often-than-not, I end up not saying “Good-bye” until I am literally walking to the car, plane, train, whatever, and I inevitably miss people in the process. Bummer and sorry to everyone who has ever been slighted by me like this.

It’s not that I hate “Good-bye.” “Good-bye” merely signifies a change, be it good or be it bad. It’s just complicated.

Geez, I stress a lot over something that ought to be so much more simple.